The Harsh Truth: School ALONE Won’t Teach Your Kids to Succeed

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Transcript

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Why do you send your kids to school to get a good degree to make a lot of money? Do you not a little No, Why do you yell at your kids to get good grades? People, I can guarantee it will say, I'm not indoctrinating my kids. You are therefore indoctrinating your kids by abstaining from taking a stance. Kids will rise to the level that you expect of them. Yes, and people just don't give their kids any responsibilities. They need work. They want responsibility. They don't want to play video games, really. They want integrity with themselves. They don't want to be bored. They don't want to just sit there watching Tiktok. That's mind numbing, because there's nothing else for them. There's no you know, Charlotte Mason says a feast of ideas like there's no feast. It's sucked from them. They have to learn a little bit of everything. They're stripped from all of their creativity. And welcome back to the American Dream rival Podcast. Today, we have an episode that we're pretty fired up about, and it's basically how we plan on raising entrepreneurial minded kids. Today, we're going to specifically talk about our goals for our family and our goals for our children, and so we have a lot to say. Yeah, I'm super excited about it. But before we jump into it, number one, leave a comment on my shirt, on my most recent shirts. Let me know what you guys think about these Haley's over here. Just thinking I'm getting too flamboyant. I know what's happening. I got I got more coming up too. I'm super stoked about it. But seriously, if you're listening on Apple podcast, leave a review. It really helps us. If you're on YouTube, be sure to like, subscribe, leave a comment down below what your thoughts are on this podcast and what we're going to be talking about with our kids. I'm sure a lot of you are going to have a lot to say on this topic, so I'm ready to get into it. Haley wants to hit him in the beginning. Thinks he's like a news broadcaster. I know I like, I like doing those interests, all right, the first thing we're talking about is indoctrination. Okay, so, like I said, my belief in Doug's belief, and I honestly so interested to hear your thoughts, because I know we're not, like, totally aligned on everything. Obviously, we're not one, really. Oh, we are, but we're not. Indoctrination is inevitable. And if you are going to put your kid in any kind of school or homeschool or not, you're indoctrinating them naturally in that way. Okay, so if you say to your kids, you're gonna go to college and you're gonna get a job, or else, you're getting out of this house like every like American family, you know you can't live here if you're not in college. This happens to like, Mr. Beast, literally, her his mom was like, if you don't go to school, you can't live here. Look how that turned out. I don't know what's happening with him now, but, oh, the craziness with that brand. But yeah, so there's that that is a dog. That's a formative, endogenous. I mean, it's a form of like pushing your ideals. So if you're allowed to push your ideals of college onto your kid and say that that's good, this is what I ponder. Okay, why am I not allowed to make my kid an entrepreneur or whatever, if you're making because your ideals are wrong? Okay, exactly. It's like, I want my kid to work for themselves. That's my goal for my children, and your goal, I think I know. But like our goal for our children is to give them the skills, the character traits, the mental fortitude, okay, the critical thinking skills to be able to build a business so that they can own their time and that they never have to answer to a boss, or if they do, it's for a short phase of life, just so they can learn the skills to then run their own business. Because it's the path that I want for all of my children, all my girls and my one boy that I have so far. And so if people are allowed to, you know, push college onto their children, I'm allowed to push this onto my children, what I'm about to say is going to be very countercultural, and you'd never raise your kids this way, and you think that I'm too strict and I'm too harsh. And I actually just talked about this with my sister, who's here visiting from Tennessee, and she just homeschooled her kids. Her kids. Her kids have been in the public school system where eldest for 11, yes, whatever, 10 years, something like that. And so she just pulled him out and is homeschooling, and we had this debate. And we're very open family. And last night, sitting right here, can open too open for Doug, such a poor ways. Last night, I was telling my sister Casey. I was like, Casey, I want my kids to be entrepreneurs. And she's an entrepreneur. You guys can follow her Brick by Brick wealth actually, she like, teaches people how to do real estate, single family homes. Like, I want my kids to be entrepreneurs. She's like, what if they don't want to do that? Animal says she wants to be a doctor. I'm like, well, in our family, which is what she said, yeah, she doesn't know what's good for her, but okay, like, listen, there's nothing wrong with the inner whatever. We're not gonna go there. But, like, you know, if you're not gonna let your kid go be homeless, okay, we're not, like, gonna let your if you don't want your kid to go be what is it? What is something that you wouldn't want a normal person wouldn't want for their kid? Like, broke, broke, broke, okay, not that working at regular jobs broke. But like, if you don't want them to be a boss, them to be a bum, you don't want them anyway, living off of you like a leech at some point. Yeah, then, you know, what am I trying to say? No. Then, then it's perfectly acceptable for you to be like, Well, I don't want them to not have their time. Yeah, you know, like, if you, if you, if you value money the most. I value time the most. Hey guys, really quick. I interrupt today's podcast to let you guys know of a brand new challenge that Doug and I are doing within just a couple short days called Last Call to launch. So it's basically a five day challenge hosted in a private group, where we're gonna be going live and releasing five days worth of trainings to you guys, for anybody that's interested in basically starting and launching their own online course and their own online business leveraging social media. This is the perfect time for you to get your questions answered and also seeing the exact blueprint that Doug and I use in our business that has allowed us to go from$0 to seven figures through social media, selling online courses and coaching programs. And so if that interests you. If you guys want to basically, really squeeze the last opportunity that is 2024 within this last quarter, then we're gonna be talking about how to go from zero to 100k within just 90 days. So if that interests you guys, go ahead and get on the wait list down below. We'll send you all the information to your email, and I can't wait to chat with you in our group. And so I want my kids to have the ability to be entrepreneurs so that they can own their time, so they can do what they want, so they can live their life and not have to slave away like I watched my dad slave away his entire life. He literally just retired. And my mom and your mom, you know your mom says, everyone's slaving. You know what I'm saying. People do not like that. You want them. I retract my words here. I apologize, but realistically, they don't want that. They don't want to be, you know, stuck doing those things. Yeah? Let me just step back to the indoctrination thing real quick, too, because people will say, I'm not indoctrinating no one. I'm letting my children have free will. Yeah? Okay, here's the thing you're driving in your car. Okay? You're like, I don't want to put anything on the radio, right? Because I don't need my kids to be listening to luda, and I don't want my kids to listen to T Swift, so I'm just not going to put anything on the radio. Okay, well, you are now indoctrinating the idea that music is bad into your children. So says, Who? By not playing music, your actions are indoctrination in a way. Yeah, right. There's nothing wrong with indoctrination. No, no, that's but what I'm saying is, is that when it happens, that no because, because people, I can guarantee it will say I'm not indoctrinating my kids. You are therefore indoctrinating your kids by abstaining from taking a stance and whatever you're doing. This happened to me. Okay, my parents didn't want to raise me religious. They wanted me to pick my own religion. And it wasn't until we were getting married, when we talked to our pastor that we had for our premarital counseling that we didn't, I know, yeah, Pastor Ron, shout out. Pastor Ron. I told Doug, I'm not gonna get married by a random like, it's gotta be a pastor or we don't go to church. But that's how, that's how it's back then, yeah. But he told me he was like, how did that work out for you? You know, and being, being raised with, with no religion. Did you get to pick your own religion? I was like, No, I didn't pick anything. Yeah. He was like, that. That's the point. That's what happens, yeah, like, when you aren't given something to choose, or you're not indoctrinated in some way, generally, you you're indoctrinated to to abstain, or to not not be in there. Or you get even worse, you get indoctrinated by culture, or, you know, the the mainstream media, or whatever. So I just want to put that clause out there for people, that if you think you're not indoctrinating, you still are in a way. Yeah. So that's like the the first thing I want to talk about is that I do plan on pushing what I feel like is right and what Doug feels is right so on to our children and having them were parents, yeah? Like, who else is gonna do it? The random school system, or teachers? Wow, now, yeah, we're gonna wild well, but like, it's gonna, like, whoever's around them, you know? No Instagram, Instagram, Tiktok. Okay, okay, let's get back to Okay, anymore. Is that like, outdated? I don't know. So, yeah, so that's what we believe is like. So knowing that they're going to be swayed either which way, and I would rather indoctrinate them the way we want them to be indoctrinated. Yes, indoctrination just has a negative connotation, because people think that we're indoctrinating them to be evil or something. You know I'm saying. So back to my sister here sitting on the screen. This carpet last night, okay, or 12 o'clock, but I walked in and walked out. I was just happening. Yeah, she's talking about lots of things about why she pulled her kid out of the public school system, which literally pigs fly if my sister, I don't know if she's gonna continue with that, we'll see, but my pigs fly if my sister, who's 10 years older than me, so she's 42 takes her kid out of public school because she's so loving. Like, she like, was so good at school. Like, we're very opposite. Some, wow, some crazy stuff has happened in the public school system over in Tennessee. But, um, basically, I was like, Casey, yes, like, I want, I'm going to mold them. We're going to mold them together. Our family is going to be an entrepreneurial family. And she's like, well, what if they want to be a doctor, you know, gandal says, or, you know, little kids say, whatever, like, I'll let her entertain it. You know, I'm not gonna be like, You are forbidden, bro, I want to be a fire truck. Not even a firefighter. Like, I want to be a fire truck, yeah? Okay. Like, kids don't know nothing, okay, at that age, yeah. But at a certain point they will know. And eventually, if my kid wants to go, you know, have a. Us and they're happy, and, you know, I can't do anything about it. And I'll, I'll support them to some extent. Okay, I'm not gonna support them in everything simple. Like, obviously, I'll say, Don't do that, you know, whatever. But yeah, like, it's not sinful to go work for someone else. So I still want to be a good parent, and not just, like, abstain from parenting even when they're older. But I told her, like, we're going to try everything in our power, in our capabilities while they're young, to foster, like an entrepreneurial household and the culture that is the norm. So it's not like the norm in our family, even though that mom and dad are entrepreneurs. Okay, you're going to go to college, you're going to get a regular job, you're going to be swarmed in tons of debt, or we'll just pay for all of it. That's not going to be the norm. Like the norm is going to be, let's figure out your business, like, what's going to be your business, and that's going to be, that's going to be a part of how we educate our children, is helping them start and run businesses. At the end of the day, it is still their choice, no matter what we do or no matter what we say, it is still their choice. But it is, in my opinion, our role to paint this in the best light that we can, because we believe it is what's best for them. Yeah, right. But at the same time, I want her, I want all of them to have the actual choice. And what does that mean, to be able to have the choice? Well, it means that I can do either one that I want to be able to do, but actually do it. Yeah? Okay, I can, like, hope and pray that they're entrepreneurial or that I want, but if I don't raise them in a way that's entrepreneurial focus, if I don't give them the skills, if I don't give them the confidence, if I don't put them in situations to practice those things, then I'm not doing my job as a parent to be able to raise them and indoctrinate them more the way that I want. Yeah, right. So if I don't actually involve this in a way in my life, then I'm not actually giving her that choice. Because if I give everything that I can absolutely everything for them to be able make a decision. And Annabel still wants to go be a heart surgeon for children or something. It's like what she said, the other noble cause, you know, she did say that do it up. She said for children. She said she wanted to be a doctor for children. Yeah, that's what she said. And I looked at her and I said, Okay, that was you sound so like to so many people, you sound like such a honestly, like, I want to say a curse word, but I won't. What a terrible person laughing at your child's desire of wanting to be a doctor. It just You're so young, you know, like I said, a fire truck. Okay, anyway, I wanted to be a professional baseball player. Yes, I wanted to be a race car driver. Yeah, I wanted to be in a band, and I wanted to be able to do all those things. Yeah? So it's fine, like no one get triggered. I will foster their dreams and push their dreams as much as we can and their ideals as much as we can. Okay, absolutely, 100% as long as, like you said, it's not sinful. That's not gonna hurt them and it's not gonna go against our beliefs. Yeah, okay. At the same time, there will come an age, in a time when they start realizing, like, maybe this isn't my bent and my nature and my things that I have, and we want to expose that, and we want to be able to expose those things, okay. But I also see and have personal experiences with people who are in medical debt, okay, and who are living literally paycheck to paycheck that have to put their kids into daycare because they have to work to pay off their $400,000 of medical debt, yeah? And it's like, from a very logical standpoint, yeah, okay. And they're not even, they're not even heart surgeons, yeah, okay, they just have a medical degree or not even medical, Doug, not even medical, it's like literally anything. Okay, we're not going to talk about college necessarily. Well, we will. I think, I think we should kind of reach into that a little bit, because when you think about it logically, why do people put their kids into college? Yeah, okay, that actually, yeah, that poses a good question that I've been pondering. Okay, because people like to say we're going all off today, my bullet points, but we I was pondering this the other day. I was like, okay, everyone's, like, optimizing for something in school because, you know, my sister, she's like, I took them out. I hope it's the right decision. I want to be a good mom, like, I want to give them all the opportunities schooling you can. Like, we were just talking about this last night, obviously, like, you know, my daughter, she her daughter, she's 13, yeah, there's like, science class, and Casey can't offer her like, there's tracks in high school. Casey can't offer her beakers in science class. Like, she can't get the chemicals, you know, like she has three home, three kids to homeschool. She can't give them all these opportunities of being a dabbler, in my opinion. Now we're going real. She agrees with me too. Obviously, she's home going for the first time, and so, like, that's where you're going, Yeah, well, whatever. But that, you know, give them all the opportunity to expose them to all these things that they might like. There's nothing wrong with doing science and like, learning about chemicals and beakers and motion, friction and all that stuff, but there's opportunity cost for everything. Okay, so that's like, more of our like, why we homeschool, which I won't get into, but I was pottering this the other day with her and without and it was like, what do people optimize for in their child's education? If you ask a parent, if you ask a parent and you're like, Well, what's your biggest goal for your kid? They're like, to. Happy. That's what they say. We all want our kids to be happy, but you got to be a little more specific. How do you make it's not because that is what they want ultimately. I mean, ours is like for our children to have, you know, like, want to have people say, like, I want to raise a happy, good person. Yeah, is what they say. Okay, happy, good people don't tend to have bad morals, no money and a dead end job. Yeah, it's very true, so you gotta be more specific, yes. So what are you optimizing for? So we want our kids to love the Lord number one, and that that will make them happy, in our opinion, morals number one, yeah. But we also know that it's gonna be much easier in their life, if they are successful with finances, yeah, if they have money, yes, they don't need to be money hungry. They don't. We don't need to raise, like people that are obsessed with money, you know, but, um, but they don't need to sit there and look at their bank account be like, I have$7.17 it's hard. It's hard. We don't want that life for them. You know? We've lived that life. We don't want that life for them. We've seen our parents live that life. I'm gonna just call it what? Okay, people put their kids in college, yeah, and they optimize for them to make money. Yes, exactly like, Why? Why do you send your kids to school to get a good degree to make a lot of money? Do you not a little No? Why do you yell at your kids to get good grades? Yeah, so they can get in college, to get a good degree, to make money. Because you think, why will bring you happiness, which it does to a certain extent. And why do you yell your kids to do homework? Why do you yell at your kids to be to do those things? It's because you want them to go make more money than you did. You want them to go make a bunch of money. The thing is, is that making money doesn't just come from being in college, yeah, and if you really are optimizing for making money, why would you start them off in the negatives, yeah, by having them go to like, some crazy degree that they may end up using or not using. Again, doctors, noble cause, yeah, you know, like firefighters, noble cause, like all these things that are out there that are, like, required by society. Obviously, there are people that are out there that are meant to be able to do it. It just happens to be that, in our opinion, I don't want to start my oldest daughter off with $200,000 worth of medical school debt. Yeah, you know. And it's not just the debt, it's the this is so important. Okay? It's not just that we Okay, we have college degrees. I have finance. Does me? Why? Doug has business marketing. We both, you know, went to business college together. That's where we met. And so we came out with $40,000 worth of student loan debt. Did the beans and rice? Dave Ramsey paid it off. Wasn't a big deal. Okay, went to state school would have been like, way more hard, harder if we had gone to, like, a private school, you know, or something that I would never get into because I was a C student. Anyways, so I tried that. Haley was destined for the entrepreneurial life, couldn't make it. But, yeah, my point is, it's like, it's not just the money that is going to be the baggage, it's going to be. This is so important, seriously, opportunity cost, like the opportunity cost of you spending your youth, and you're not even your youth, like you're getting older, like 2019 2021 22 if you're old like us, and kept going to college for five years, five, four and a half, 23 right? Or 22 whatever, you spend too long. You spend too long in college, and you're just learning a little bit of everything. And so whatever, that's going to too much of a tangent. But like, basically, I want to start our kids way younger. People think, Well, some people would say, Haley, you're pressuring too much. And my sister's like, I don't pressure him too much. And, you know, I don't like, I sound crazy, like, and I am, but I really, when it comes to like, me sitting with my five year old and seven year old, and I'm like, you would hate it. Like, I'm not like, how I am on the podcast. We're reading Peter Rabbit, okay, so, but there's gonna come a time when she is nine. She's almost nine. Nine. Yes, 910, 1112, 1314, 1516, where we are going to be actively pursuing entrepreneurial endeavors with our children, because there's a quote or something, kids will rise to the level that you expect of them. Yes, and people just don't give their kids any responsibilities. We had a real like one, semi viral about like, kids aren't bored. They just need hard work. They need work. They want responsibility. They don't want to play video games really. They want integrity with themselves. They don't want to be bored. They don't want to just sit there watching tick tock. That's mind numbing, because there's nothing else for them. There's no you know, Charlotte Mason says a feast of ideas, like, there's no feast. It's sucked from them. They have to learn a little bit of everything. Bit of everything, and they're stripped from all of their creativity. Yeah, yeah. So we want to foster that when they're really young, not be like you must turn our profit, nothing like that. But if you think about society as a whole nowadays, right way back and then hunter gatherer days, okay? Kids had responsibilities and roles and took part. Yes, right. So kids are like in their DNA. They yearn for work and for things to do and responsibility and to help. Sons want to go hunt with their dads, to go get their food, right, and the little girls want to be able to make the. Food and do the things with their moms, yeah, because that's how society worked. As we were developing as humans, work is good, right? Yeah, like that is what we had to do, and work is good. Nowadays, kids aren't expected to do work. Kids are expected to be babied all the way up until they're 18, yeah. And they're not given any rule or any responsibility or any challenges or any freedom of choice until they're 18. Then all of a sudden, they hit 18, and they're expected to figure out what they're supposed to do for the rest of their life at that point, yeah. And they also have never x the soul part. They've never exercised the freedom of choice. So then, when they have to choose all this onslaught of stuff, like we did, yeah, we went through all this, this is us, all of a sudden, 18 like, choose what you're gonna do for the rest of your life, and where you're gonna go and the things that you're gonna do, and you're going to do, and you're afraid of failure, because you've been conditioned to, like, have to get perfect scores, and if you don't, it's literally F for failure. I mean, so then you're so scared, and you have a lot of anxiety, and there's all these other problems, but so that's why you should start them early. Yeah, that's why kids should have responsibilities from an extremely young age. We actually have one of our students. Her name's Sabrina. I'm gonna butcher her Instagram. I forgot what it was, so I'll put it in the description. But her whole thing is, she has her son, Duke, like, common chores with her. And one of the real she was getting flack because her kid was, like, using a belt sander. He's like, three. Oh well, you know, something like that, but he had hearing protection and eyes protection on. He's doing it, and they're doing things. But what she's doing is she's giving him the opportunity to learn how to do things and how and and, you know, have freedom to do stuff. And if you don't do that from a young age, and if you don't expect things of them, then it's never going to happen. Let's take our guinea pigs. For instance, what? Okay, you're like, What? What does this have to do with anything? Well, if our kids, well, you know, because this was you, according to your dad, but if the kids aren't expected to, like, clean the guinea pig cage and to feed them and to play with them and do those things, dad will do it. Then Dad will do it. Dad will take care of it. And they'll never learn to have that responsibility, or to be able to work, or to to know what it's like, to be able to contribute. And we honestly, your family, yeah, we honestly had a brain aneurysm, truly today, actually, because our child, whatever she does, she's not gonna care. She's the oldest one, the oldest one, I had to specify. It's not the three or five year old, which even the five year old could do it. But we said you got to clean the guinea pigs cage every single day. Yeah? Because the way they have guinea pigs, I don't know. I grew up with a guinea pig. Now there's just mats, and you have to clean it every day. There's no bedding, okay, whatever it's you were supposed to clean it every day back then. Anyways, I really wasn't. I didn't do anything anyway. So I'm not trying to raise the flaws I had. So if they want the guinea pigs, they have to clean them. And so today we had a little anaerobism cells, like, is she too young, seven to clean the guinea pig. No, no, she's absolutely not. I see her like, rearranging her room, moving furniture, and so she didn't the cousins were coming over. She was like, getting all of her Hardy Boys books out, yeah, and she stood them up. Like, the library, there's a lot of things that kids are capable of. And so we looked at her like, actually, no, she could do it. Those kids are super capable, and they're, they're, if you give them the opportunity to do so. So now, yeah, we can talk about those opportunities. So the first thing about building an entrepreneurial child, which I do think my dad built me into this, and somehow Doug is now being built into one, which he it has been an opportunity cost, though, you know, I'm not being a raised entrepreneurial from five it's hard. It's hard, and I there's a lot of things that I'm seriously deficient on which I'm going to talk about. Yes, I get it. We're going, I know. Well, come on. I sound like, you know, whatever. Okay, so the biggest thing about being an entrepreneur is having character. It is not about how good you are at math, because most of the entrepreneurs that are successful that we know are students, myself, not Doug, because he's actually still successful, but good at these things. They're not necessarily book smarts, like, over you don't have to be, yeah, they're usually see students because they there's a lot of things I'd say about that I'm not going to go through, but yeah, like, they're not necessarily like wizards at math, for instance, but the characters there. So the character is someone that always follows through. Let's not bring it back to us, but we're not perfect, okay, but like, the things that I wish you know I was better at, always follows through. Um, character that they fail a lot and they love failure. Like, that's something that I had, but, like, not to the level that I want my children to have. I don't want them to ever be afraid of failing. I want them to seek out options to fail. Yeah, sounds like kind of twisted, but I do. I'm gonna put them in environments to purposefully watch them fail, yeah, over and over and over, so that it's not a big deal. I heard somebody talk about this. And they were saying, like, they need to have this like idea, kind of, like when you play video games, okay, like when you play Mario, or Super Mario, or something like that, when you fail and like, you die, you run in the mushroom, you fall in the hole, whatever happens, right? You don't just quit and put it down. Like you strive to, like, Oh, I'm gonna jump over it next time. Oh, I'm gonna do better next time. Oh, I'm gonna keep going, keep going, yes, and then I'm going to eventually make this happen. Like you need to be able to build that into your kids character from a young age, probably not with video games, you know? But that's just, that's not a topic, but that's what we want. That's one of the big things that you need as an entrepreneur, is that kids need to be able to have failure, yeah, and if you're scared to let your kid fail, you're just setting them up for extreme failure once they get older, right? Like, sometimes, for some people myself, in some situations, it's extremely hard for me to deal with failure, because I got everything right when I was growing up as a kid, you know? And I was never pushed in a very hard, difficult situation that made me be like, I want to do better in this instance, or I want to do that again. I want to try it again so I can get it better, you know? So, yeah, I think that one is one of my biggest things. Another thing that I think kids should that we need to foster in that that we do try to foster, is the idea of independent thinking, okay, like part of, part of character needs to be, I guess, confidence, the confidence to think differently than other people. Yeah, okay, so like to look for opportunities, yes, and so, so how, how do I go through it and make my child be like, Oh, I'm going to give you the confidence to to think about things differently. Well, we're going to read literature that's different. We're going to talk about stories that are different. We're going to different. We're going to basically try to call out different types of people that we're learning from in a lot of different places. So one thing that we do that I think is different than a lot of people, is we'll be we also talk about a lot of, like, non fiction things that happen, and we talk about a lot of like, different scenarios and people, yeah, of like, you know, throughout history. So yeah, I grew up, like, I don't know if this is what you mean, but like, I grew up in a very loud family. My dad's Portuguese, so when we sit down at the dinner table, we all talk about everything, yeah, yeah. We still do that. And I'm like, Dad Tony down, there's children here, but like, he wouldn't he had no filter. He says old, you know, seven years old. So, but when I grew up, I didn't know who, like, presidential candidates were, yeah, you know, I didn't know anything about policy. I didn't know about government, law or anything, you know, and so I didn't know anything about that. I also didn't know about entrepreneurs. I didn't know that there was a whole nother lifestyle that that existed. And so basically, what I'm trying to say is that we're just trying to talk and foster an environment where we don't just talk about ourselves and live in our own little bubble. Yeah, we're all just together talking about, what's everything live like, I do remember when, like, the Ukraine war was going on. Like, do I talk about? Yeah, I do talk about this. And we're gonna, yeah, explain to her where it is on the map, what's happening. You know, we tone it down. But other thing that is has to do, because it's, like, the character side and, like the skill side, so like, a couple more things with a character. So this is so important. Like number one that I battle with just all the time is being I want to say emotionally stable is what's written down there. But that's not really what I want to leave with. It's more about controlling your emotions. And like my dad says, And like a lot of self help books say, is like watching your thoughts and picking and choosing which ones you're going to have. Like, enable, yeah. Enable, yes. So if you're, like, wanting to have an outburst, my dad has always said meditate and like, watch your thoughts like you're above a cloud or on a cloud, looking at yourself. And this only comes with, like, extreme discipline and self control. So we want our children to be able to control their emotions. If you can't control your emotions, as an entrepreneur, you will not be successful, because you're going to and take it from me, make a lot of rash decisions without thinking through logically. And I think I've much better now than I was last year, the year before, the year before, but yeah, and only through, like, extreme heartache. I wish I would have learned when I was a child to better control my emotions and pick and choose my thoughts. Yeah. And so people might think that there's like, a weird trick or book that you read or something to be able to trick your children into being able to learn how to do this, but we literally just tell them, like, hey, you need to be able to control your emotions. Well, we don't just tell you need to. We give them. This is like a parental disciplinarian. Well, that's what I'm saying. Don't let them wallow like a lot of the gentle parenthood is that, is that we call them out, yeah, we tell them, we explain situations, yeah. You know, I think that's another thing, though, is like, in raising these types of children, we don't just see them as just children, yeah. We see them as future adults, yeah. And so sometimes we have to treat them like future adults, yes. And being able to to show them the differences in scenarios, and show them the differences in the way that you can act. We call out situations. We're like, Hey, this is your time of self control. And then, you know, Annabelle, or website, that thing where she has, like the fruits of the fruits of the Spirit, and she talks about self control, and she does those things, let's not be specific. Sounds like we're crazy. So this one should be the first one, really, but they're all equally as important. I mean, you have to have a confident child, they have to be emotionally stable, they have to be ready to take on challenges. Yeah, failure is like, not a big deal. I. They have a lot of, again, confidence in themselves and their abilities because they've done a lot of things before. So that's like, the only way to have confidence is to have done a lot of it before, over and over and over and over to where you do it the you know, a 100th time you're like, I've already seen this a million times over. Hopefully a 100th time is when they're like, 18 or, yeah, you're not 30. Like, seriously, for some people, and us included. So there's that. But you know, the first thing really, is a love of learning. Because if you're not a learner and someone that wants to grow in knowledge, it's going to be very hard for you to see business opportunities. Yeah, absolutely, it's like, if you I mean, I wasn't raised that way, right? I wasn't raised with, like, an immense love of learning, for the sake of learning, for the sake of learning to love too. Yeah, right. I was raised with the idea that, like, you learn because it's required for you to get your brain so you can go on yada yada and all the usual stuff. But as entrepreneurs, we've had to learn to love learning. Yeah, we've had, like, we're so behind, yeah. Like in we're so yeah, let me feel it more, yeah. We feel like we're so behind because we've had to re ignite the love of learning that was squashed from, like, all the years of high school, all the years of textbooks all the time in college, me studying mitochondria and, like, amoebas and just dumb stuff that I didn't want to learn about anymore, right? And so if we can somehow get our children to love, how to love, basically wanting to learn about random stuff, you know, it's going to to get them to be okay with learning to do lots of different things. I think there's something else huge that, like we have not touched on, which is a lot of panics like, what, by far the biggest thing that has changed our family culture has been reading aloud classical, rich literature in the evenings as a family. And so if you guys came from a family where you just plop on the couch in the evenings and you binge watch a whole bunch of TV together, and you want to do things a little bit differently, I have launched a book club that I'm so beyond stoked for I can't even tell you. And so basically, you guys can sign up down below, but it's free. It's a monthly book club, and I'm gonna send you guys a personal development book that I'm reading. We're gonna discuss my thoughts, and we're gonna go back and forth via email and on Instagram stories, and every month, you're gonna be sent a personal development book, but also a book link that is sourced directly from our family, that you're able to read aloud as a family. And it's gonna be books that have personally just changed the dynamic in our family that we read aloud to our children, age 753, and the baby doesn't listen, obviously. But these books have been tried and true. They are ones that we're actually gonna reread as a family with you guys, and so all the details about how you can participate in our American Dream revival book club will be linked down below, and I'm so stoked to go on this journey with you guys. A lot of parents don't know what's possible for their kids, because they don't see any of their kids doing anything else. Okay, so because we live in LA LA entrepreneur land, we are we expose ourselves purposely, but like we're also exposed to a lot of unconventional ways of living. So a lot of our friends homeschool. They're also entrepreneurs. They raise their kids. They might have their kids job shadow, like as like, literally one of their subjects. Or a lot of the people that we've been mentored by were entrepreneurs as kids. They founded and started businesses as kids. And so to us, it's like become more normalized to see children, not child slave labor, okay, but like children pursuing their interests and having space for that. For instance, I don't know, I think you do this. Know this, but ConvertKit, it's like an email what is that email provider? Yes. What's his name? Nathan Berry. Nathan Berry, yeah, so he was basically Okay, so there's this email provider called ConvertKit. It's um, the company's worth, maybe, I don't remember, 20, $40 million the guy that runs, it's like around our age, he was homeschooled. He if he got his mom said, if he got all of his stuff done, I think I don't know by a certain time, 12 o'clock, two o'clock, that he can do whatever he wanted. So he taught himself how to code. Because he was homeschooled. I think because if you aren't homeschooled, you have all this homework. There's really not let time left to do anything else. My sister is actually saying super side note that now our kids are interested in so many other hobbies because they have time unlike and they were spending four hours a night doing homework, and they were like math homework specifically anyway. So Nathan Berry, he ended up learning how to code apps. Then he founded ConvertKit. It's worth all this money, and he's maybe a little bit older than us, but I mean, crazy. So he had the time and space and creativity and bandwidth mentally to pour into that. And so he was doing that when he was a kid. He was making like, 1000s of dollars off of the app, you know? Yeah? People, App Store. People have no idea that you can do that. Yeah? People have no idea that those stories are real, yeah? I mean, this is super random, but I used to work for a guy, you know, when I'm at mod bargains. Mike started that. He started that business when he was, like, 1817, what was it? He was drop shipping. Drop Shipping, yeah, drop shipping, car parts. Before it was cool, yeah, before was the thing, right? He. Just drop shoes, like an OG drop shipper and like, the guy's not even that much older than I was, yeah, you know. And you don't think that's possible, like most people conventionally, think entrepreneurs are like, Elon Musk, yeah. And you think entrepreneurs are geniuses, or people that are like, they have all these skills that other people don't have, or it's like a fairy tale land to think that your kid can run their own business one day. No, just because they don't, they don't listen to other people's stories, you know, they don't think it's possible. I also sent an email, I think, like, two weeks ago, it's like the lie of raising a well rounded child, while I want our children to be well rounded, there is a point to where, like, I keep talking about the opportunity cost is too great, yeah. So like, how far do you want to round your child's like, do you want to keep making them well rounded? The goal of having a well rounded child exposed to all of these different topics all the way through, honestly, 19 years old, I was still taking nonsense. I mean, why was I taking dance class? Because I suck. But like, Why was I taking that in when I was a freshman or even sophomore in college, why was I taking that? Well, because you don't know if you want to be a dancer, and I know that by the time I'm 19, that I'm not good at that. Like, why am I taking that? So you should be rotund in your roundness. You should be very big and round. Okay, round. Anyways, so yeah, like for us, like the well roundedness, like it comes through, exposing them to a lot of great literature, and we're going to do that that way, and as everything else that we can do, showing the world and but you know, at a certain point you want to specialize in something, or else you're you're developing a person. We know we are those people. We were those people. Yes, that knows a lot about everything, and a little, what is the phrase all about? You know, you know a little about a lot of things, yeah, you know, but you don't know a lot about one thing. Basically, you're not, you're not an expert, you're not specialized, yeah? And you don't become good in something, and then you don't have confidence, and it's just like a big old spiral that goes out of control. But before we get to that, just really quickly, one of the things that I think is very important as us, as parents. You know, a lot of times parents tend to separate adults from children. Oh, yes, yes, yes, okay. And so they do this at like the dinner table, yeah, parent children go sit at the Children's table. They do this in church. The same thing goes with work, okay, yeah. Parents tend to separate their kids from their work. And you could do this even if you know Western civilization, some Western society. And so if you you don't even have to do to be an entrepreneur to do this. You can still talk to your child about what you do for work and about the work day and the thing challenges that you went through. But for us, we don't want to hide our entrepreneurial endeavors in the work that we do and the struggles that we have from our children. Yeah, I'm never gonna tell them like, oh, I had negative dollars in my bank account, so I can't buy you that toy and stress them out. Like, I'm not gonna do that, but I'm also gonna tell them like, oh yeah, like, I didn't land that call. And here's what I could have done, like, differently because they asked me. They're like, How'd that call Go Daddy? And like, how was your How was your video? How did your stuff do? Parents tend to separate themselves, and we don't, so we tend to almost too much integrate our lives with our kids, right? You know? I mean, we even did an entire training about living an integrated life, which people can grab down in the description below if they want to. Like that one, that's a good one. That was a good one, right? That's a good one. But I think other than that, one of the things that I like doing with my kids the most is putting them in crazy, hard, weird situations that they've never been in before. Okay, I like getting them to do things that are different and challenging. What to expose them to different stuff if I were to be more basic, speech and debate, yeah, getting our oils into speech and debate is very cool. It's very traditional. The other side of things. I put my five year old into a race car, yeah, and I put her in a quarter midget, she had arm restraints and an X restraint, and she had the whole thing. They had to tell her how to get out of the car if I was on fire. And we sent her off on her way. And it was the coolest thing, because she's never done that before, but she had to overcome a challenge in the moment, right? And do that. And I feel like kids don't get the opportunities to do things like that, just like, spur the moment, like I'm gonna tackle this thing best that I can. And I think that I we have that the unique ability to do that right, to try to get them to do that. So we have to seek those things out. But other than the race car, which was traumatic for me, just kidding, they're a lot faster than they look on line, at least, that's what I learned. Okay, back to speech and base. So let's talk about more sales. Okay, so what we're planning for to raise an entrepreneur is to have just better communication skills than Haley, okay? And but, like, I seriously, you know, wow. So we put our eldest in a speech and debate. Is eldest eldest, or is it oldest? Talking about I was just gonna pick no. I was thinking. I was like, I Yeah. Anyway, we put our oldest in speech and debate because, oh my gosh, so many things. I'm feel very good about it. She hasn't been in a long time. But I want my children, our children. And to be able to speak articulately. If there's anything I've learned from the past 24 hours, it's that people should know how to debate properly, Oh, yeah. Like, if there's anything that should be known. It's to know how to eloquently speak. And I didn't know. Actually, I didn't know that I had issues with ums and pauses in until Annabelle told things. But yes, in speech and debate class, they they ring a bell. Yeah, if you say yeah, ding, yes, ding. Do you know how many times I have to edit out Doug's ums and my likes? That actually happened a long time ago too, when I started working at that my my SEO job, yeah, one of the first days I was there, our boss counted how many times we said uh or um or like, in our like, just in our meeting, he was like, Doug, three UMS. He was like, Ashley, 16 UMS. Why is it just because, I guess we say it too much, people. Kids say it too much nowadays, but that's crazy that they were doing that in speech and debate. And when we saw that happening, I was like, this is the spot. Yeah, this is the place. But, yeah, people really need to be able to know not just how to speak eloquently, but they need to know how to defend themselves in a point, not in a fistfight, but like, in a debate and speech, you know, and be able to talk through things and kids, I don't think you're ever given the chance to actually like. This is just how it is, because this is how I see it, you know, that's it's got to be sometimes the kids got to be like. This is what I believe, and this is how I think and feel. Because for you to have to try to build that skill at 19 or 22 or 25 is like impossible. It's also like you have so many ingrained habits. Oh, yeah, absolutely. So just beyond like specifically, you know how eloquently or not you speak, as far as communication goes, we want our children to be able to talk to anybody of any age, of any ethnicity, no matter what, and so that means that we have to put them in a lot of opportunities to speak to those types of people, absolutely so, not just in speech and debate, but like, that's a big reason why we homeschool, seeking out opportunities. Like it was raw. I'm like, Oh my gosh, her cousins didn't even know what's going on. She was like, ding, ding, freak. At least they're all homeschooled now, but yeah, so we talked about this on one of our last podcast. But like hosting people every single week in our home is a great way to raise you might not think so, but in my opinion, raise an entrepreneurial minded kid, yes, because they're able to now, you know, flex the muscle of communicating with people who come in your house and having to listen to them talk, if you're older or if not like whoever it is, for hours on end, giving of yourself to other people and hearing different ideas and their background, and being able to communicate like, it's so important they also get the ability to, like, read the room. Yeah, self awareness. I'm already like, how do I teach self awareness? Because that is teaching pillar number one. Self awareness has got to be the most difficult thing that's there. I don't always have it. I know, I know I said some dumb things at the beginning of this podcast, or maybe it was the other one, but I will say that some people just I can with it. Yeah, if you don't know how you look, to some degree, it's going to be hard for you to sell. I am really looking to give my kids this experience of making money is easy, or the belief. I want them to have the belief ingrained in them that making money is really easy because they've done it over and over and over. So I want to breathe that into them. I want them to have the abundant mentality, because everything is abundance, okay, because they've been able to create. They are creators. They've already done it since they were children, and so that when they're 1617, 1819, 2021, 30. Oh, well, I'm just a creator, like I create abundance for myself. I have this belief that I am abundant because I can create. I can make money, and it's not hard. Making money is very easy. So the only way to you know, impress upon that unto your child is for it to be real. So how am I planning to do this with Doug as well, is giving them opportunities to make money. And it's going to be, I don't know yet, okay, I only have a seven year old, five year old, and I'm getting, like, I call myself done with the viewing, but you know, you don't know how it's going to go. And I don't, and I'll update you guys if we're still doing the podcast when they're older. But, um, something that I want to really do is, like, it's going to be a course subject, so it's going to be entrepreneurship is going to be a class we all take as a family, and it's going to be a required subject, just like math is required. Why can't this be required? Well, it is in our family, and it's going to be fun, and they're not going to hate it. They're going to like it the most, I think, and it's going to be okay. We're going to start a business. So let's start with the marketing. What's the business plan? Is there actually a need? Let's learn self awareness. Nobody wants your ugly cookie if you didn't wear a hairnet because you're a child. Like, nobody wants to eat it. Like nobody wants to eat like, you know, at a certain age, maybe not seven, but maybe nine, but it's coming up. It's coming up. It's going to be how to start a business, and they're going to sell something, and they're going to turn a profit. What's funny is this win, getting them that first dollar, showing them that it's real, showing them that it's proof, is like in our lower levels of coaching, is the first thing we try to get our students to do yes, to make their first totally Yeah. Because once you make your first dollar, you just repeat, you just rinse and repeat and change and you modify, but you believe it, your identity has changed. And I it's crazy to me that you're right that should happen at such a much younger age. It should not happen way later on in life. And, you know, and it kind of like this baggage, I know responsibility. I know it lines it lines up too, with this thing that I heard about the other day, about somebody was talking about making money with chores. Okay? They're like, why would you just make money with chores like you shouldn't do that. You should kids should not learn to make money for just doing the basic thing that everybody expects of them. That's like, there, right? Wash the dishes, clean your stuff. Here you get money because then you're training them that you just do the same thing that everybody else does. You just do a service or do whatever, and then you get paid for it, you know, at your job. But instead, you should be teaching kids to create value, right? I created value. I gave somebody value. I created this thing, and that's how I should be getting paid. And I think that mental mind shift lines up with what you're saying in terms of being able to know that it's easy to make money. Well, they should know that's easy to create value, and that them knowing how to make how to create value is going to just propel them way up to the future, no matter what it is that they do. Yeah, I read this book years ago, before I was even gonna homeschool. It's called The Four Hour school week, and I'll link it down below. I'm sure the family is very different now, but because it's, it's been like, I think I read that before covid, and that's when I was like, well, homeschooling, like, what is that? I remember their daughter. I think she was like 12 or 1312. Or 13, she was homeschooled, and obviously for a school week. And I remember she was running an Etsy sticker shop at the time that was making six figures. Now, again, some people would say that's too much pressure. Kids can't handle the responsibility. You obviously help facilitate everything, and you're not going to be like, you have to do it if they go higher to someone, yeah, like, you don't, it's, there's there's levels, but no, like, we're gonna if you're required to do math. I mean, I don't, I That sounds so harsh. And honestly, honestly, the real, real is, I'm never gonna have to say this is required work. Annabelle Scarlett, no, just like, I will math. They're gonna love it, like, because absolutely they see us. Like, for instance, we film some of our podcasts during, like, their quiet time, they're able to watch they our house is small, so they can hear us anyways. But like, if they're quiet, they can watch us, and they do. So oftentimes they're behind the camera watching us, unless it's like a really sensitive like the the other one we filmed, but, but I think but, but I think that's pretty much it for today's podcast. There's so much more we could talk about, but we'll have to break this up. You gotta wrap it up at some point, right? Yeah, but thank you guys so much for listening. If you're listening, you can listen to it if you're just watching and you want to listen along. Sick of seeing our faces, we'll link everything down below and yeah, leave us a rating or review on our podcast. Like, comment, subscribe, same thing. Yeah, we'll see you and our last one. Bye, guys.