The American Dream Revival Podcast with Hayley & Doug

Ep 32. The DIRTY Secrets Of Having a Large Social Media Following

• Hayley & Doug Johnson • Season 1 • Episode 32

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How do you define success for yourself? 

Fame? Views? Wealth? Designer tags? Family? Follower counts?

This looks completely different for everyone.  For us, it's been one of those things that have drastically changed over the years..

For the longest time, so many of our own feelings around success were wrapped up in views, wealth, and comparing our story with the story of others (especially on social media).  It was almost like social media was seeping into real life..

I mean how can it not? When you consume social media allllll the time, it's honestly hard comparing yourself to the picture perfect influencer, with a big house..fancy car and designer everything.  Social comparison triggers those insecurities we all have, and can make you feel inferior or inadequate.

In today's podcast, Doug and I talk about what our definition of success is NOW and how it's evolved over time.

With this new definition of success, we are more confident than ever that our lives will be fulfilled and meaningful.

Links mentioned in this episode:

Get my $100k in 12 Months Challenge for FREE here! http://digitalincomefamily.com/100k-12-months-challenge-registration-pod

Doug Johnson:

Hey guys, welcome back to the Digital Income family podcast. So Haley and I were talking about this the other day, you know, people will open up Instagram or logo jump on social media, and they see somebody that they deem as successful. Right. And so, to us, some people are successful, and some people aren't. And we started to realize it's a very subjective thing. And sometimes it's a very skewed thing. Yeah. So in today's episode, we want to talk about that we want to talk about what success means to us what it might mean to the general public, and how you know what it used to mean to us and that transformation that we've made. And hopefully, we can, you know, help some people out and becoming more successful. Welcome to the Digital Income family podcast, where we share how we run an online seven figure business as a family on part time hours without neglecting our kids each other or ourselves. We want to reveal the highs and lows of building a digital business and loving family at the same time, so others can see that it's possible to please share, and we hope you enjoy this episode. Okay, guys, success is one of those things that to us has kind of changed over the years,

Hayley Johnson:

radically, like, last year,

Doug Johnson:

I would say even over the last couple of weeks. It's always it's always a moving thing for us. Right? Like, that's kind of how it works. But was it ever moving until recently? Yes, until recently? Well, I think what happened though, is, yeah, for us, we've had these talks, and we've done these things, but what spurred inspiration for this podcast was, I was on social media the other day, because now I am a social media influencer, right? I am trying to post more Yeah, it's gonna be coming, don't worry, it's coming. The wave is coming back and comes in these big ways. But anyways, so I was on there, and someone was talking about what it meant to be successful. And I just completely disagreed with that rule was

Hayley Johnson:

it? It was so sorry. What did they say? No, it

Doug Johnson:

was just talking about things like, you know, work like working hard all the time and spending all you know, it's an honor to, to, you know, completely slave away at everything that you're doing. And, like, if you're not making over a certain amount of money, and then it doesn't really matter, like if you're successful or not, and like look at all these things that I have and then you know, you go back on social and you look at people flexing the things they're doing and just kind of like a general consensus. Yeah. We're also talking about you know, what success means to like our friends and family. Yeah, and those kinds of things too. And so

Hayley Johnson:

I honestly think typically success means what your friends and family think it means like Yeah, yeah, because you are made up of the five feet close to your hidden deep right in the beginning everybody knows this. You are the five closest people to you if you don't know this, no, no, no,

Doug Johnson:

no. Are you are you that is the thing but I think success is what's predefined and like ingrained in you Yes. From the people that you surround yourself with society and society. Yeah, society like social I would I would almost consider well this groundbreaking right now. I would almost consider it is

Hayley Johnson:

you're living in in like, online

Doug Johnson:

it is. Yeah. When you said meta, I thought was something completely different? No, it was it was a video game playing like the meta is like the thing that everybody does to be the best. But anyway, it's really, no, you can't. Somebody did say this though. I'd actually heard this somewhere else. And it just hit me again. It's no longer now as like, back in the day when that phrase came out, which was like, You're the five closest people to you know, your your five is now like the people you follow on social media. Yeah, by me, like, it could be like the five people you surround yourself. And the sixth one is social media. Like we follow? Yeah. Like, that's wild rice. So your success, your definition of success and who you compare yourself to? is now not just the people who you surround yourself with, but also the people you follow on the internet. Yeah. Man, that's rough.

Hayley Johnson:

I know. It is hard. And I think like I've been in internet land more than dug Oh, for sure. Lived in real life land. Well, you live on the internet to like mentally but really, you've lived in real life up until, like, two years ago.

Doug Johnson:

I mean, like yeah, my my idea of like, internet land was like irrelevant, useless internet, you know? Yeah,

Hayley Johnson:

I mean, I honestly like this is so groundbreaking for me, we haven't really talked about it. I mean, it's just apparent which we'll probably get into a personal deep this is gonna be very personal podcast. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Absolutely. No, you know, everything's transparent here. No, behind the curtain. So that's just how we roll you know, but I would say that like for the last five years, I've lived only in internet land. Yeah, for sure. It's been it was forced myself to be

Doug Johnson:

oh my goodness. Yeah. Like I'm getting massive flashbacks right now of Haley just playing that crazy success comparison game with like everyone she found on the internet. Like, especially during the influencer times like when like, oh my god, like there would be times where Haley and I block it out. Haley goes, we were fun. I was a full time you when you weren't when she was a full time YouTuber. success was defined to her as like followers and views and big brand deals. And sponsorships literally is like yeah, quite literally as like views and that kind of stuff. And that's what people still think it is today. Like and what's I know but we're gonna break through that we're gonna break through that mold that that wall that people think. Yeah, you know, but it is 100% like Haley back in the day, I clearly remember it to this day, Haley would find people that she collabed with, like back in the day as a YouTuber. And they like 10x her growth and it would just like it would suck.

Hayley Johnson:

This is going to be absolutely insane. And it wasn't so much that I was like this person to know that okay, we don't talk like that. Wait a second. We're trying to be better. Okay, gosh,

Doug Johnson:

I'm sorry. Anyway.

Hayley Johnson:

Okay, it's good to make this is gonna He's gonna be I don't really care, because I've set it all up already, but does gonna make me sound psycho. But it wasn't so much that I was psycho because I am psycho. Like let me defend myself. I don't need to because yellow, but it is what it is. And I've made a lot of mistakes that I've talked about openly for years. So because it's been a long time, and I started social media when I was like 20 years old. Okay, so, but when I was a full time influencer, I was not young. Okay, I was like, 2526, but I was really immature. I've literally matured and a lot of you guys someone messaged me today, almost four years ago, I'm so glad you like mature. Like, this is what happens when you I don't know, mature later in life, whatever that means. I think most people that springing on a tangent here. It takes them longer. Most people of the world, which weren't going there today, they take longer to mature. And that is how I was for sure. So I feel like I've matured 100 years I don't know in the lab, and both you and I and within the last like three years. Yeah. Like I feel like I'm an old person inside now. And so who I was when I was doing YouTube full time at like 2526. Now I'm 31 is not that long, but it is like I'm a different person. So I don't take offense to anything. Doug says in case people are like, You're rude to your wife, like do know, like we say everything like it is yeah, so we're very self deprecating. Don't know if that's like, I don't think it's good thing, but it's what it's so anyways. But to defend my old character and old self. I was in a fight or flight mode. So it's not that I was like, oh, crying, you know, my tears at night. Like this person is so much better. They're so much prettier, like no, you know, they're more interesting in my life is boring. I never thought that kind of stuff. I'm saying self confidence. But it was almost like Well, how am I not getting the algorithm better? Like how How can I not understand it better? Yeah. And now looking at I know exactly what I was doing wrong, speaking laughable and you to the content needs to be better. You need to live with that. Honestly, what it is, is you need to live life. And so the things that certain influencers were willing to do move into better houses, get nicer cars, like upgrade their wardrobe, do outlandish things to be the top influencer in the certain niches that were life's more lifestyle niches. I was not willing to do because I am a more people would disagree that don't like me that probably aren't watching. But I am a more real person. You know, like I shop at Target. Like I don't I don't know, I came from a more Yeah, just real. Like, I don't know, I don't care about flashy stuff as much. So I wasn't really I didn't understand and equate, like when you if you want to grow a lot, you need to have aesthetics that match what's interesting to people. That is me defending back up close, but I need to I need to explain that I wasn't a psycho. No, it wasn't like I was the missing link.

Doug Johnson:

It wasn't a fact of jealousy or weird things like that. What it was was like I was putting in max effort, what she felt was maximum effort, wasn't it? It wasn't what it was at the time. But you feel like it's a max effort. And when you see other people having success like that, I mean, yeah, you know, it, it drains on you. Yeah. And so yeah, I'm

Hayley Johnson:

not knowing that aesthetics and like painting a beautiful life for that niche that I was in the motherhood niche is absolutely mandatory for success unless you're in a sub niche like homesteading, okay, that's like a different, different tangent, but like, you can mean a sub niche that pops off that doesn't require that, but for what I was doing blogging, all that, it requires that and so I wasn't willing to do that. And I was baffled, why can I not get more views? And so I don't even know where we're going with this. But I had to say that

Doug Johnson:

No, no, it was just the fact that I was saying that when we used to we used to compare success online. You know, and to us, like one of the major success validators that people still have today is views and followers and subscribers and so and it's like views and followers and subscribers and I'm just gonna say this right now and I'm gonna have our make sure our editor cuz this is one of the things I want in our reels here. But it's that views and subscribers and followers is not indicative of success and how much money you make

Hayley Johnson:

no. Talk about that. Yeah, a lot of people they'll have like 500,000 followers, and they'll think that person's making I don't know what people are thinking like six figures, seven figures. Yeah. And they work with us and they can barely make like three grand a month. Yeah, I know what's how happening here. It's because of so many different things people don't know about. Yes.

Doug Johnson:

And that even piles into another thing, which is like, is money, a success indicator as well like that we'll get into in a bit too, because like, yeah, that has also morphed and like people's brains are more for that. But I just want to I just want to touch on this really quickly and kind of go back to it. Because we obviously have personal experiences with how success has changed over time. Yeah, right. But how do you see success portrayed now on the internet? Like, how do you see that not you personally, it's

Hayley Johnson:

been the same always. But just in general, it was the same when I was an immature like, you know, newly brand new youtuber that was full time, the person that was chasing views and chasing aesthetics and lifestyle, better lifestyle, so success is like just having nicer things and making more money, because that's how you can prove that you're making more money. And now that's, we know what that entails. Faking, like faking a lot of it and you're not even faking it. It's more of just like, embellish part of your job to like, buy a lot of cool things. I'm not saying it's wrong. Well, I don't know. It's just not enough for me,

Doug Johnson:

but it's like, here's the thing are you doing like yes, yes. Are you doing it's really hard because you are successful? Or are you doing those things to be successful?

Hayley Johnson:

Yes, like there's a different ladder. So like for instance, I have a lot of influencer friends and they agree like if we're all sitting and if we were all sitting in a circle they'd be like yeah, I and that's because you can only tell an influencer friends these deep dark secrets you could never say online. I bought this wardrobe because I need people to be interested in me. Yeah. Like no one would say that but it's almost like a double edged sword thing because it's like yeah, you need it to be interesting and that is your job qualification is to influence it's to attract the masses it's to pique interest it's to hype yourself and your life up but at the same time, you don't want to have to do those things and you get in this weird trap and I was in that for years and I couldn't get out until like honestly I found God like again yeah legit like because it was wild because it like logically if you just look at everyone online success is having nice things and making more money and in order to make more money as an as in certain influencer niches so we just signed on a student that creates fishing lures no legit This is legit fishing lures yeah like number one channel on YouTube was so interesting we like watched it the other night but like this person no like we're not talking about like these niche things but as far as when I say influencer What am I talking about?

Doug Johnson:

Classic ya know classic influencers where people follow you because of the way your life is portrayed?

Hayley Johnson:

Not because you're good at you're good at making it fishing or painting. Or omitting like the sub niches that

Doug Johnson:

yes, yeah, like you don't have to do those kinds of things like but it does leak into it starts to seep and go there though. Augie lifestyle things yes. Like

Hayley Johnson:

fishing lure thing not literally for them. But like, it could it could go there quick. Yeah. No. Because then souping up your background like it starts with that. And it starts with like, I got to look better on camera. Like I need fake eyelashes now. Like I need. For me. That's why I had them for seven years. Like honestly, because I looked at myself every day for hours editing my face, or I need new teeth. Like gotta get veneers like would you do these things if you weren't an influencer? Or if you weren't trying to be one. And so at the end of the day, years into this, it was so fatiguing for everybody. And for me, I had to like ask myself, how would I was just I've just been asking myself this, and this is really weird. But this is the land we're going into. And it's going to be like, it's just a morphed reality. And so even just recently, I was telling my friend, Ellie, like, I'm a full time mom now. It's like, the first time in my life, like, honestly, I get six days a week, seven days a week, obviously, but like, right now we're doing a podcast, so there's that. But like, this year is the first time where Doug and I are like Haley's full time mom. Yep. Like she we don't need her income. And so I'll do this like to help and support dug until obviously make money but it's not like something we're going to rely on anymore. for reasons we'll talk about, but I was like, Okay, so like, what I have extensions like what I like, you know what, I have a nicer looking house what I have eyelash extensions. What I wipe my teeth, I shouldn't even be you don't I mean? Like, what I like fake tan every week, would these things so vain, but I'm a woman. So like, it's different for you.

Doug Johnson:

Yes. So for me, it'd be like buying things and doing what I do that stuff because it's, I need to do it to look good. Or is it because I generally want to do it? Yeah. You know, like, there's a difference that's there.

Hayley Johnson:

And it gets it gets weird. And there's not even I mean, I've said a lot like I've really opened up because people don't talk about it. But what's so interesting to me is that Doug is going to you guys probably already seen we're using his background and this is gonna be posted on his platforms now.

Doug Johnson:

So income pod canal.

Hayley Johnson:

Yeah, basically, but it's not peek and there's not a bird on my shoulder like the last one. For that reason, which we'll talk about too. But I just like, oh my gosh, I cannot wait to see Doug's journey with this mental game. I'm not Like, you know, praying that it's hard for him like, I'm not, because he's so much more mature than I was when I did it. He started to me through you

Doug Johnson:

experiences if I didn't have those experiences we've already had that it would be dropped, but

Hayley Johnson:

I don't even think it matters. Like my, I wish I know obviously wish the best for all of us. You know, he's my husband, but I'm like, it's gonna get to him like, how's it gonna get to him? Because, you know, it's a really weird game, living your life online.

Doug Johnson:

Listen, and it got to me a long time ago already. Okay, like there wasn't there was a time when I was posting Amazon FBA videos. Yeah. And so it's actually This already happened to me back in the day. Yeah. When he went with a guy. Yes. So I went viral. And I was on a video that I had, I was filming with an older back in the day, and I had my two monitors set up right here. Okay. It didn't look anything like this. It was like a white desk. You know, it's like a green weird. Specific that was there. Right? Yeah. And so I had two monitors set up next to each other. And somehow, and I had two different sized monitors. And they didn't want to spend money. Oh, no, I didn't know why it wasn't the time. This is

Hayley Johnson:

why we can never blog. And he did I know even it's like, but the guys that jumped

Doug Johnson:

on, there was a thread like two dudes were talking to each other. And they were like, how does this guy make six figures? Or say he has a six figure job that he quits, which isn't even a lot, which isn't even a lot. But he doesn't even have the same monitors. Yeah. I was like, Are you for real right now? Like, like, that's not indicative of success? Yeah. Or is it and I like pointing out my my dual monitors that I have my fourth

Hayley Johnson:

and he like, complete. It's a joke now. But this is how it's I mean, it starts in a million different ways. Yeah. It starts with comments, though. Like, you're ugly. And you're like, I'm ugly. Like, I gotta change things. Like I don't know. Like, they don't say you're ugly. I literally actually a lot of people are worried that we're going on so many tangents but yellow. They're worried that they're going to be attacked for their appearance. I never get attacked for my appearance. And neither does Doug.

Doug Johnson:

I mean, some guy told me I have grandma glass. Oh, yeah. Someone will say, Oh, that's flattering. Your grandma's got game. He's just like,

Hayley Johnson:

but it was, you know, like a little things. Yeah. But it's never like things that that stuff doesn't get to you like, oh, you you know,

Doug Johnson:

I mean, some people might vote but what gets to you stuff. That's

Hayley Johnson:

real. Yes. And this is the only stuff like this is if I was sitting in a group of influencers. They'd be like, yeah, it's the comments that they're right. Yeah. Or they're, they're like onto something. Yeah. Like, you should be more present mom. Instead of posting. It was like, okay, like, I hate you. So like, I don't know, you don't say that thought you're like, You are the worst. Like, you don't understand my situation, because the thoughts are and then you think and you think anything, and it's like a week. And you know, again, I'm painting myself as insecure little girl inside, but I don't care who it is. It could be the most mature seven year five year old that's been through, like, you know, Vietnam War and they would still fester on the opinions of people who don't matter. And you start to form your life around these opinions of people that don't matter, because it's just your human. Yeah. And so the best thing is not to look at a certain point, but you need to look but anyways, I'm excited for Dexter though.

Doug Johnson:

Yes. All of that to say Haley's wondering, it's obviously like so long to like dig my own success. Yeah. With these other comments and other things that are coming into because that is where it kind of comes from but what's crazy is that we see this these same thoughts and the same thought patterns happen to people that don't even work online. Okay, what do you mean? What I mean is that people are like, Oh, you don't have a house yet? Oh, yeah. Like oh, like grandma.

Hayley Johnson:

Oh from Japan. She's like, you know have house like like we put our money into our business like we're entrepreneurs we can do we want she's like oh, no, no, no, no, like, I was so mad at that Thanksgiving.

Doug Johnson:

Oh, no. Like almost 90 Listen, my grandma was brutal. She

Hayley Johnson:

wreck you more than me like any haters. You will love her

Doug Johnson:

down dude. Get cut down. I got stories I can't tell on the podcast. Just so brutal.

Hayley Johnson:

Anyways, so yeah, yes, your real life but you don't get as much it's not like a flood every time.

Doug Johnson:

It is a flood though. Because you follow these people online. That are your friends. That you feel like dictate your success. Oh,

Hayley Johnson:

yes. It's like reverse to it's a mess. I know this is why I want to flip phone but does won't get one for me because he's a log into my accounts person.

Doug Johnson:

Yeah, lid. Yeah. I want to flip phone. Yeah. Okay. We'll go there in a second. But so, so right now life, like current status has Haley says the status quo has always been the same. But I mean, I almost think that it's worse because it's seeping in. Oh, it's totally worth seeping into normal people's lives. Right. So like personal friends of ours, who are not in the industry of us doing this job. Follow the same people that we follow. That was weird. Okay. Yeah. So so and so they're also dictating their success off of those people, those things and they see they think that people buying the fancy watches for their moms and like, doing all the things that they need to and you know, I'm doing this thing and look at me And look at this thing that I'm posting. They are dictating their success on that rather than defining their own success, or defining success with true meaning. Yeah, right. And that's what we've started to learn. So when I see things like, and I always joke with it with students that come on, because they say, Doug, and Haley, you guys are so real blah, blah, blah, like, we appreciate how you're so real with everything that you do. And I'm like, Well, yeah, because most people see people like posing in front of cars, or people

Hayley Johnson:

with dog would be like a 90s car

Doug Johnson:

yes to 40 minutes. I'm not doing it to flaunt my money. I'm doing it because I genuinely love my car. Yeah, you know, but people buy stuff. Like you were saying they buy Lambos they buy watches, they buy things for their parents, they buy houses, they move into places like for the fact of marketing, yeah, to to show success, quote, unquote, success, right? Yeah. It's not me wrong. I mean, I don't want to say no, no, it's it's it's a marketing strategy. Right. But it's wrong. Because you are now telling people this is what it takes to be successful. Yeah. Like and because you have a following the general mass populace believes that, like, this is what success is nowadays. Yeah.

Hayley Johnson:

And it's like, yeah, it's hard. Because if you if you for certain niches, not all of them, again, not like homesteading, and I'll teach you how to, like lose. Well, yeah, it could be anything burly, but you know, fishing lure guy, like, let me teach you how to make one like, no, it could go the other way. But I think for most people, it's like, you need it, like you need to mark it. And so you need to suck it up and do it. And if you're not going to play the game, get out and choose a different sub niche that doesn't require that kind of game. And if you if it goes against your ethics, like doing that kind of doing that stuff, then get out like to something else the

Doug Johnson:

way you do it. So how did we change Haley? How do we go through that transfer?

Hayley Johnson:

That was so hard, and I'm just getting out of that mentality? I know, it's like, my biggest sin, like, straight up, like, we're getting real. But you know,

Doug Johnson:

it's, it's anything that is like, we went from valuing followers and leads and money and other things to valuing like family, and to valuing our kids and your role in the household and things like

Hayley Johnson:

that sounds sick, okay. And it sounds like we have issues. And we do like, honestly, because of I think everybody goes like, not everybody. No, that's not true. But you know, I think we've gone through a lot and changed a lot of people so gone through a lot of things that we regret, and whatever. But I think it's not so much that we never valued our kids. We've always physically been there for our kids. We are with them. 24/7 Except for when the babysitter comes three hours every like two every you know, every month. Yeah. So it's not a lot. And yeah, so we're physically there, and we homeschool and stuff, but it's not enough. Like it's never been just enough. You can be a present homeschool mom that like has everything perfect and cut your kids food for them. And I don't know, whatever. But you're put like your mentality is stress. And, you know, you're not pouring into your kids as much as required. Yeah. And I think that was me for a long time because I was living in online land, definitely because of fight or flight mode, not because I was just like more money, millions of dollars.

Doug Johnson:

Literally believe, like, you can't go down and followers or

Hayley Johnson:

lose income like Yeah, and you and I'll have to move and I can't help my family members like so. It's a twisted game. I know. And anyway, so how do we get out? Yeah, we had to get out. It was a long process. It was

Doug Johnson:

and it was it was a lot of figuring out what really meant to us to be successful. You know, like, like, how did we define what success would be and success ended up not being things and success not ended up being like money? Yeah, obviously, you have to pay the bills and do those kinds of things. But success was how we wanted our life to live and how we want to live it. Yeah. And how we wanted to go through those things. I mean, one of the big things that helped us redefine this, and this is weird coming out of my mouth, but it was like Haley reading the Bible. Deal again. Yeah. And like going through and doing that. And then us mapping a path to figure out how we wanted to live life a certain way. Yeah,

Hayley Johnson:

I think it didn't, it didn't start with that necessarily. That's been like more of a recent thing. I think I was so sickened because you get so sick and of yourself and like your stress and managing your abilities. Especially it's like a mom that wants to homeschool and has a ton of kids. Like we're gonna have four so it's a lot. You get so sick and have it you're like, I don't know why this is wrong. Until you, you know, till I started reading the Bible, like Oh, it's so clear what the heck, I was doing wrong. But I don't know what's going on. Like, I don't know why I can't figure this out. I don't know why I can't balance life work life balance doesn't exist, you know, certain to a certain extent. So I will, you know, like I need out. Yeah, I don't even know why I can't figure this out because I try and fix things and I I'd be like, this is a new schedule, schedule haul I got the schedule should see it like gives me a shiver, beat. Hey, I like notebooks all the moment. But I have all these like notebooks I love to write notes like to do lists and whatever. And I'd write schedules and schedules and new plans for how we're going to make this much money with this many hours. I mean, working less. Yeah. And how can I keep the house clean? And how can I stay on top of all these things when I just truly should have been doing all of those things?

Doug Johnson:

Yeah, yeah, it was trying to put a bandaid on top of a band aid. You know, I'm saying like, pretty crazy. Yeah, the way that we were doing this, because of how we thought we needed to be successful. Yeah, no, and so

Hayley Johnson:

six, logically, it's just more money. Logically, it's, I and you work more logically, it's put your kids in full time school and daycare. Like that is success on social media, it's making more money. And oftentimes, you can be a millionaire, and do it during naptime. We do this. So like, we know that it's possible. We're not saying that has to require all these hours. But oftentimes it does, depending on like, what how you make your money, like an infant, obviously. Yeah. And

Doug Johnson:

oftentimes, success is, is defined as your sacrifice. Yeah. And people think that, like, look at me, I'm grinding, I'm successful, when you're sacrificing good time with your family and your kids. And those kinds of things. Like you shouldn't have meant these kinds of things, your mental sanity, and your friendships and all the stuff that you have. Yeah. That doesn't, that's not indicative of success. And so that's what I wanted to make this podcast for is because like, we literally had a real life situation where, you know, somebody that I know, was like, talking about how successful this other person was. Yeah. And it's like, but why does like giving up why does that have to be to success and who defines what success is? And so it was, it was a little just, it was kind of a weird experience, because it was like, all of a sudden, like, you know, social media was seeping into real life, because I feel like the two are so blended nowadays. Thanks, Facebook. Yeah. But you know, like, that's, it's so blended. So you have to start to to redefine those things and figure out what success really means to you.

Hayley Johnson:

Yeah. So you get to a point where obviously, Doug said, you try so many things, and you still feel miserable. And we were still making six figures a month. So why am I still a headless chicken? Why am I not satisfied?

Doug Johnson:

I used to think it was so dumb when people were like, when you make over a certain number, like more money doesn't make you more happy. And I was like, yeah, right through and I was like, you know how many cars I'm gonna die? You know what I'm gonna do here? Look at my desk. Yeah. Look, look at success. Yeah. And it wasn't for Doug like hobbies. Yeah, it literally well,

Hayley Johnson:

people say it's like 20 grand a month. I do. Right. I are not recommend. I do think that. Yeah, most wall case. People say my money. My problem. Money is my problems. Okay, number one sometimes depends. I don't always believe that. Less money. Yeah, you can cure a lot of problems in your life sickness, you're getting medication for things, helping your family in a hard spot, giving people money with more money. So I still believe it. Like what I always say success is your duty, if you deem it to be and I still want that for my kids. I want them to say to themselves, I need to be successful. It's my duty, but at the same time, there's there's a limit. And so yeah, people say 20k a month, you're like free. And I think that I do think that depending on where you live,

Doug Johnson:

yeah, it does depend a lot on where you live, but like that, what does that 20k bring to you to some people, you know, true could bring light could bring a lot of diversity wife

Hayley Johnson:

or the best life. Yeah. So anyways, we started to realize like, no matter what we tried, things were just out of balance. And so I don't even know how I got starting to read the Bible. Again. This isn't a biblical podcast, obviously. I'll touch on it. But I started realize like, our roles were absolutely skewed. And I think I talked about this on my last mom podcast. I can't remember I have another monitor motherhood hawkers.

Doug Johnson:

Yeah, headed up plug.

Hayley Johnson:

Gosh, I have another podcast of the modern housewife. There's only like six episodes or something. But the last one, I talked about that. And it's a novel idea to be a helpmeet to your spouse, a lot of people will be like, ah, what did she say go like, women or men are equal. It's like, yes, they're equal. Like, that's not what that means. It just means that your role is to support your husband and fulfill his calling. And your calling is for your kids. A lot of people want to be Mom, mom. Mom bosses. Yeah, yeah, whatever. And it's not that I set out to be that way. It was just like, fight or flight for so.

Doug Johnson:

Literally, what hit the I'm not gonna be poor anymore. It's horrible. Yes. And we didn't want to work for anybody else. Yeah, like that was it too. And so Hayley capitalized on the thing and we rode the wave, but we rode the wave so far. We were starting to hit rocky

Hayley Johnson:

shore. Yeah, right. And I realized, like, our biblical roles were out of balance. Yeah. Completely. They weren't even there. And it's really difficult sometimes to be the mom boss and to be a presence. You know, your mom to be a mom,

Doug Johnson:

mom, boss. You know? Yeah, like you can't like at some point, you're just a boss. Yeah. And that's what's so

Hayley Johnson:

hard like with the hour Isn't your day you know, whatever I won't go into I don't want to make people feel guilty because sometimes you have to be both like, yeah, and for years I had to like, you know, not because Doug sucked. It was just because we got swapped in swapped in. I came in

Doug Johnson:

privacy rain, whatever. Yeah, no, no, I

Hayley Johnson:

can speak no, like, sucked into this success

Doug Johnson:

path. Yep. And so him too. Yeah. And so I was like, why would I do that? Now? I would never do that. Like what at least me? I'm just over here hanging out. And um, no, that's

Hayley Johnson:

not that is not the case. You weren't you pulled your way. I wasn't about

Doug Johnson:

to do. I know. But I wasn't leading the charge. Yeah. Which is different. Okay. But let's, let's reel her back here. Modern housewife podcast here. Okay, let's reel her back. This is still a dog income family podcast. So what defines now your success? Like, let's like, stick this on the wall here.

Hayley Johnson:

Okay. Well, I have a feeling that most people follow me because I never openly talk about it. They're not Christians, you know? And they don't they don't subscribe to any of that. And so you're going to be like, What the heck is she saying? She never mentioned this before? Because I never did. But I think for me, it's having children that love the Lord. And that's, that's going deep. Because

Doug Johnson:

what does that have to do with money? What does that have to do with followers? What does that have to do? Business has nothing to do with that. Yeah. How crazy is that? That now, we are now deciding. And we have realized and has been open to us that a measure of success has nothing to do with anything we've ever done previously.

Hayley Johnson:

Yeah. So it's terrible. Doug already started. He's like, You look glassy eyed. I'm like, I could be like crying on everything. I don't even want to touch on it. Because

Doug Johnson:

it was like my cookie. And I'll just get private a cookie

Hayley Johnson:

yet. I'm not that far in the pregnancy. But yeah, so um, yeah, that is like such a, when you realize like, what you've been doing wrong for like six years, because our eldest is six. You're just thankful that it's only been six years. And your kids aren't rebelling. And they're teenagers. And they want nothing to do with you. Because you just neglected what was important for so long to make more money online.

Doug Johnson:

Yeah. And I'm probably gonna throw a disclaimer at the beginning of this podcast, playing some kind of crazy disclaimer this like, look, everyone's in their own situation.

Hayley Johnson:

Oh, yeah, I know. And like, I don't want yeah, like, if you're in that situation, there's still hope. Like, yes, you know, and everybody had so many mistakes. I don't want you guys to think that we're on a high horse because I am on a low horse. Okay,

Doug Johnson:

we're running the burrow right now. I'm saying,

Hayley Johnson:

we're just trying to sell. And so it's, you know, every you could say they're putting the shaking the finger like, no, no, shake the finger at myself. Yes.

Doug Johnson:

It's nothing to do with, with like, other people, it has to do with us and organization of a measure of success, because I'm hoping that by telling our story in this, you can unwrap yourself from the grip, the death grip, that is social media, and what people portray as success. You know, like, I just wish death my friends could get out of the the idea of success being like houses and income levels, and the things that they haven't realized that like success is is different. It's deeper, it's like have raising the next generation. And those kinds of things, you know, like that. That's what I would see. So like for Haley, her measure her biggest measure of success, and our measure of success now is honestly raising good, biblically valued children.

Hayley Johnson:

Yeah. Because literally, like not just what do they call it? moralism is a word I've learned lately, kids that are just good for being good, because it's good. No, like, I want them to really understand, you know, all the ins and outs of it and believe yes, you know, and so, this actually really started happening when we and we've mentioned this before we got a mentor and he made a million a month and we talked into group setting for like, I don't even know a year or something six months. And so we were doing ads at this time really heavily because we had you know, like throw money to dumpster fire and like we did make money back but we broke even that time. And it's so scary like putting whatever 50 grand Yeah, so that's why we still rent but anyways you you live in your learn. And so that's where our money was going like versus buying a house and like people didn't get it. Okay, so and this is what you do to be successful you sacrifice and nothing's wrong with that. Like we don't regret not buying a$1.5 million SoCal home like I'm totally happy where we are in this phase of life. But anyway, so he said, Look, you guys let me get what did he say?

Doug Johnson:

He told us he was like legit dog like, are you going to do this? Are you not? Are you going to put the kids in daycare or are you going to put them in school what he said literally like who's who's going to do this like because

Hayley Johnson:

we needed to work more like a lot. And I needed to work a lot. It wasn't just like, like Doug can work a lot. He didn't work all the time. I'll watch the kids as much as I can possibly but it required Haley Yeah. And so required me to make ads and so people think Facebook ads as I know is like so easy. No, you like do an ad it flops you do one the next day if you don't want to throw 1000 more dollars down the drain. So I needed to be on physically present mentally memorizing my lines, like doing more ads, and then we would edit them and test them at night. Like that's what Doug was doing. And so, wow, there's no time for raising biblical, you know, whatever the heck Kids Yeah, even to No, no, you outsource that to do this. And it's a phase. And I'm not saying it's wrong or anything. It's just not what we

Doug Johnson:

were not, it was not our measure of success anymore. You know, what it was just delegate would have been different. Yeah, absolutely. What he's doing, but that's what we're trying to do now. Because the thing is that, like, that would have been our correct roles. You know, if I should have known we should yeah, but we didn't obviously, it was totally different. But you know, the other the other measures of success? Yeah. Besides that, in terms of like our kids and being able to raise them, like, to us why, at least to me to success isn't just a time freedom, because I feel like almost time freedom has been sucked into that. Like, it's been sucked into social media now like, like, look at me, look how free I am, like I can, I can do whatever I want and make money. Like, I feel like that's still a it's almost like writing the gray line of what success should actually be is time freedom. I think what you do with that time, freedom, to me is a little bit different is this what's more meaning of success? Like, I want to do things for my kids or for my family, or for other people. Yeah. off camera. Yeah, like being selfless. off camera is the way that I would try to deem success other people don't need to know. And I'm not the most Biblical person ever. And like anybody who knows me, they'd be like, Doug, I can't even believe you're touching a Bible at this point. But like, but I learned from Haley and learn from the church that like, the right hand should know what the left hand is doing right when it comes to giving and doing these kinds of things. And so when I see people touting their good deeds that they do on social media makes me cringe. Because let me tell you like we've done it. I know. I mean, I have I haven't secretly recorded myself giving money to homeless. No, it's not no, no. It's

Hayley Johnson:

like income reports. And I don't think there's anything wrong with doing those things.

Doug Johnson:

Yes, our intent was to try to help people. Yeah, right. But I have not, you know, renovated my dad's 57 Bel Air and recorded the whole process. Oh, that would be so it would be legit to like, record for my dad, you know, and to be able to do that. But a lot of times, it's What can I do to be more successful? Or I can go do this thing for my dad. Yeah. Which is wrong. Like that is not the way Yeah. And that's it's getting? It's getting twisted. And so like, I don't want people's measure of success to get twisted.

Hayley Johnson:

Yeah. But I think like, and I agree with all that, obviously. But I think like, if you guys are interested, literally what our measure of success is because I think it can be different for every person. I think it should be raising biblical. I can't even say like raising Christian kids that are literally Christian. Like they're not just saying it's not just something that they do on Sundays. It's like, they hide the Word of God in their heart. They know it, they're good people, all those things, they're saved. I think that's most important for us. But

Doug Johnson:

I was just gonna say like, we're not just saying that because we're only speaking to Christians. Like that's not the thing like we want. No, our kids like this is this is our belief. Like, I'm not trying to tell other people to go make Christian kids. Like, that's not what we're saying. No,

Hayley Johnson:

no, no, I definitely came out wrong. No, I don't. I just want to throw but yeah, but for us, like it's that, but and I do think like I said, Success is so different. So if a husband does have the calling to go be a missionary, I don't know this, that now we're getting weird, but like or be a racecar driver, or I don't care. Go start a lawn mowing business, like support and do it. You know, everyone's so different. It requires different things have different people hours and stuff. But for us it is working three days a week. Yeah, Doug Yep. And then it's for me working like we are right now, like half a day or like a couple hours a week. Because I used to work a full day and I do feel like even that's too much. Because I homeschool and I have to plan like how am I going to get these kids to like map you know, like it's a little bit more intense. I think I'd work more if I my kids were in some type of school but so it's that it's working less and still making seven figures. Yeah, absolutely. And because we have to be specific because if we're like seven figures, I know we did that but we're working all the time.

Doug Johnson:

And that's the thing is that success is to me is not necessarily just that number that you hit, but it's how you hit the number. Yeah, and it's what you do while you're hitting the number Yeah, so like I still want to do all the same thing is that people show on social media. Yeah, okay, I still want to hit the numbers. I still want to have the free time I still want to have the hobby and I still want to do stuff. That's literally what I help my dad to do. It is really what I want to get to old Bellaire. Yes. Yeah, and so I want to do all those things, but not sacrifice my children or my family in order to do it. Like that's that To me is ultimate success. Yeah, is first raising my kids, you know, in a Christian manner to be biblical children so that way, you know, we can help with the next generation ourselves have time to learn on ourselves.

Hayley Johnson:

How do you have any time to learn what God God's plan for you if you are working all the time? Yes.

Doug Johnson:

And so takes a lot of time. You need to be able to do those things whilst hitting those other success measures that people have online. Yeah. And I think that's what's missing is that people throw away everything they can to have these measures of success is so much as to you know, sell their soul. Yeah, to whatever they needed to.

Hayley Johnson:

And I think like, I mean, just to like, I don't know, give you guys an more of an idea too, because I think I like hearing what people's literal success like dreams are. And so our dreams like Doug said, what our dreams is all has always been to just shower our parents and money. Absolutely. Like, I know that sounds strange. And it's not that I'm like, flaunting it. It's like it's just I think it's just like real like, I

Doug Johnson:

don't know what I should do.

Hayley Johnson:

I just want like I was telling Doug the other day my mom loves to she doesn't watch me like she was watching my mom's

Doug Johnson:

she doesn't care how long it's been since we've seen them.

Hayley Johnson:

They live in and it was whatever. Okay, live in Mexico. They retired down there. They're not Mexicans anyways. No, we're not old. They're just crazy. Okay, so they live on the beach in Baja because it's more affordable there and one yeah, they like to kayak and ocean fish like crazy people. But we were talking the day and my mom is like obsessed right now with knitting, crocheting. I don't even know the differences things the same thing a sewing, and she's making all these blankets and all these hats and she's retired for the first time she's she's worked her whole life. She was a full time nurse supporting my family and my dad's dreams. He's an entrepreneur that struggled for a large majority of my upbringing, hence why I'm the way I'm so my mom, like is obsessed with knitting. But I was like, does she really like knitting? And if she was here, she laughed. Like, like, does she really like it? I'm like, if I if my mom could do anything, she probably just shop all the time, because you never got to. Yeah, like just I want to give her just the money to go frivolously. What is the word? When you buy something and you get an instant? I don't want to give her dopamine hit. Yeah, like I want to give her dopamine hits. I don't care if it's right or wrong. I don't know. You know, people think about that. But I want to do that. And so we try and do that a little bit. And this is not me, flaunting I know we just had this but for one woman's birthday, got her eight or seven have every type of shoe because their shoes, like they need she needs new shoes, because she's wearing the shoes that I got sent for free. Like as an influencer years ago. I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna get shoes. And she only kept two because none of them fit in her. Were like, what the heck, but I bought her like, it was the first time where I was like, I want to dopamine hit my mom and it like, no better feeling I got her boots. And you know, I need to take her

Doug Johnson:

learning that now heptane in her box, she was like,

Hayley Johnson:

What are you doing now? So the more I want to like amplify that for both of our families, you know, like houses and I want to do those things. It's like such a drive. But again, Haley before would say I want to give my family and Doug's parents everything they ever deserve, because they sacrifice so much for us. And I'll do whatever it takes to do that. But upon reading my Bible over the last year, that's not my order. That's not number one order. Yes. Okay, number one order is obeying God being helped me to my husband. So anyways, we're getting deep here. Looks like have I been doing good? Yeah, I did really? Well, I could do better. Okay. But yeah, so that used to be like, Why need success is my duty like I need this is a long podcast, but I need to do these things. Because this is what my parents deserve. Like, I want to help them and, you know, whatever. That now, you know, learning like biblical values, and why I'm here and all that. It's not like trying to strive for that for them is not going to fulfill God's purpose for me. In any ways, it gets way more layered that I'll stop there. But that is something that we want to do. Yeah. And we want to what like fun things because we don't want to make everything down. But we want to I want to travel every three months. Yes. Because that's what I want to do incorporation with homeschool. Yep. Doug just wants to only go to Japan like every day. That's it every day. But it's like a 20 grand. I want to do that. In racecars. Yeah, okay, you can explain yours because that's I'm done with mine like

Doug Johnson:

ultimate dream selfishness that's here is like well, you are going to racing cars which I'm currently doing and but taking my kids along the ride and showing them that you can do fun things at a young at a young age, because then on that a little bit a little bit because we're coming up on an hour. I've never done an hour but it's kind of scary, but I watched my dad sacrifice. You've said this for the family. Yeah. And I believed that was a measure of success. It's like how much you sacrifice to make them how much you don't how much laundry Yes, how much you don't fulfill your own dreams is like I will do this because I'm a man is honorable. Obviously. Yes, he's Japanese is honorable. Yeah, but that is like I obviously thank Him for everything that he's ever done. Because you know, he's provided and did those things. But that was what was predefined is that you wait until you your kids are set, then you go do your fun things that you do.

Hayley Johnson:

And there's nothing wrong with that. And sometimes you will literally have to do we live in a different era?

Doug Johnson:

We do. And so that I want to show my kids my measure of success is how much can I open their minds to what success is now we're gonna success Inception here. Yeah. But to show them what's possible. And in conjunction with, you know, the way that we're raising them, show them that you can have fun and do whatever you want all the time. Yeah. While you're being successful, and doing it with good values. And with my kids. I'm not selling out to do those things. Yeah. Just to just to make money. Yeah, you know, I want my kids to have the ability to look at things and be like, that's not worth it for me. Because that goes against my morals, my values my religion, or goes against what I think is right. Yeah. And if they can do that, then Awesome. That's all I want. We'll

Hayley Johnson:

have a good story. Yeah, they're not gonna get I know. Yeah. I mean, I think they will, they'll be on that, you know, everything's on the internet, I think, Okay, the last last thing, I have to say, Okay, you're like, are you killing me? But like, obviously, you know, these are all so important. But logically, literally, not logically, literally, as far as the business is getting people's success? Oh, because there's a lot of people that sell online courses, we don't really just sell them because we do coaching. With every single one of our students. We know everything about them, almost not, but we know a lot. We know too much. Because we talk to them, like nearly every day for six, or sometimes. So I think like for our students, it's transformation. You know, like, we want that for them. And we push them and we tell them things they don't want to do. We tell them as if we were them. You know, so it's getting people real results

Doug Johnson:

by Yeah, if for the business, the definition of success is not how much money it makes, but it's how much money makes other people. Yeah, like that is the ultimate success for our business. And I always tell people this to whenever they get whenever they come on, and they're like, well, aren't you just like, selling me to try to like sell me and I was like, No, what I'm doing is I'm literally telling you that we're going to take you through all the steps to do this to get you the best success you can. Because if you are successful, then our business is successful. Not

Hayley Johnson:

like I know that sounds cheesy, but like literally if you are successful, you tell

Doug Johnson:

you tell people we get a we get a testimonial out of it. And then we get more clients out of it. Like that's literally a measure of success.

Hayley Johnson:

And it's like there's no better feeling than hearing from students like months or years later. It's the best life has changed. Yes, it's crazy. Yeah.

Doug Johnson:

I mean, we'll have some students that are coming up on the podcast that that you guys will be able to hear about in terms of their success and what they've learned and like what they've been able to help people do too. And so it's just like, people helping people. Yeah, like, measures of success as well, like, at the end of the day is like, how much can you help somebody? Yeah, like, in a genuine way. Okay. Not by buying them or watching recording yourself doing it. That's cool, though. I mean, it's fun. But yeah, anyways, I think I mean, yeah, that went way deeper than I thought it was going to. That's not what my notes rug never knows. Like, that is not what my notes wrote, okay, three words on there. If you want to be successful, you always got to come in with a weird voice. You can check out the description for a free mini course that tells you about how to make 100k in 12 months with digital products. Yes. And it is legit information because again, I wanna be able to help people like I actually want to help people. I don't just want your email, just me I don't want your email. So I mean, yeah, so go check that out. Thanks for listening to Digital Income family podcast. leave a review on Apple podcasts. If you guys got anything, leave comments down on YouTube below and we'll see you in the next one. Bye, guys.